« Beware - Hater Alert | Home | Your Demeanor Reflects Self Esteem »
Why Care What Other People Think?
By Kim | February 3, 2008
I believe we care about what other people think because we want to be accepted. For many years, especially in the workplace, I let my concern over what other people think about my actions and behaviors control me.
By caring what other people think - I placed myself in a very bad place. For starters, we can never please everyone and there will always be people who do not like us. Moreover, instead of caring what we think of ourselves (internal forces that we can control) we place our happiness and wellbeing on external forces (which we cannot control).
I learned my lesson the hard way, because other people think differently than I do. They have different values and experiences. Also, other people think from a different perspective with differing expectations. For instance, I had a former boss who based divisional decisions primarily on what other people think and/or thought about his choices.
Anyone who fell out of his tight circle was thought less of than those in his inner circle. The key was to get into his inner circle. But to do this, I had to care what other people think. My problem was that my values, beliefs, and work ethic was so out of line with what these people thought I literally had to sell myself out.
Granted, we all know we probably shouldn’t care what other people think, but being the emotional creatures that we are - not caring what other people think is not easy. That’s when I made up my mind and established guidelines for dealing with what other people think.
For starters, I don’t try to please everyone. Everyone will not like me and everyone will not agree with me. It’s unrealistic to think otherwise. However, I can be true to myself. I can care what I think about me over what other people think.
Also, I determined my core values, as well as the type of person I want to become. I then thought of people who exhibit the traits and characteristics that I admire. You see, not everyone’s opinion of me is even worthy of consideration.
In a nutshell, I deal with what other people think in several ways:
First and foremost, I value what God thinks. He’s my ultimate judge.
I look within to the type of person I am and strive to become.
I value the opinion of those whom I respect and love.
I strive to treat others the way I want to be treated.
I strive to do my best everyday.
That’s it. Other people will think what they want anyway. I have no control over that. However, I always have control over my thoughts and actions and as long as I strive to be the best that I can possibly be - contributing to life in a positive way - does it really matter what other people think?
Topics: Personal Development, Personal Growth, Personal Success, people skills |
