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Your Demeanor Reflects Self Esteem
By Kim | February 3, 2008
Low self esteem shows in your demeanor. When my self worth was at its lowest, my shoulders slouched, I rarely made eye contact, and a sad expression remained plastered to my face. I was a walking advertisement for self depreciation. Each day, my self confidence disappeared a little more. I never felt like a failure before, but I learned there is a first time for everything. But you know what? I can’t explain it, but the fighter in me refused to give the people knocking me the satisfaction of knowing they were getting to me. I was sick and tired of having my dignity stripped away. I decided to boost my morale and I started by faking it.
Let me tell you, when you feel like you’re crap, it’s hard to fake anything, but I practiced and boy was the results sweet. I decided to improve my self esteem by behaving the way I did when my self confidence was strong. I’d hold my head up high, my shoulders straight. I refused to slouch and I looked everyone in the eye. Best of all, I learned to plaster a bright smile on my face. My silent message was, “you can strike at me, but I refuse to let you take me down.” Amazingly, my body language helped to boost my self esteem. What an wonderful discovery.
Granted, my bearing didn’t change overnight. I practice in the mirror - critiquing my stance. Surprisingly, I started to use my results to boost my morale - especially when I realized that I was achieving something most of my torturers would have failed to do. I was NOT buckling under the pressure of constant exclusion, silent ridicule, and humiliation. I even started to gain respect - go figure.
I’m not saying this battle with low self esteem was easy, but I learned a very important lesson - you can use external physical results to help make internal mental changes. I was reminded of something a former boss told me. He said, “act as if you have the job you want already.” So, I figured, “why not act as if I have self confidence already?” Believe me, there is credibility to that saying ‘fake it until you make it.” I also learned that I’m much stronger than I gave myself credit for.
So you see, you have more weapons at your disposal to battle self esteem than you realize. Practice the demeanor of someone with self confidence. I am sure you can find role models to copy. Also, remember you’ll make more progress boosting your self worth when you focus on improvement instead of self pity.
Topics: Personal Success, Self Esteem |
